A Butler's Daily Routine
by LxIsxJustice
Summary: "As a butler goes through his daily routine, he often cannot help but notice that he needs small distractions to prevent monotony." In which Sebastian writes a song about a typical day in the Phantomhive household. Mild Sebastian/Ciel Bit of a Crackfic.


**Hahaha, ohhhh god, the things I write in the early hours of the morning...I was falling asleep to the beautiful voice of Daisuke Ono (who plays Sebastian) and the song "Aru Shitsuji no Nichijou" was on. Unfortunately, it didn't lull me to sleep like I expected, and instead, I had to get up to write this ridiculously weird story. I got the idea of Sebastian actually writing this song about his day, and the ahem, somewhat slashy nature of pieces of the song allowed for elements of Sebastian/Ciel, though I barely go into any detail. Anyways, this is pretty much pure crack, so Sebastian will probably be OOC, and for once, I don't give a damn. You kind of can't when you're as tired as I am right now. If you haven't heard the song yet, I command you to look it up (as well as the rest of the album) because DARN IT, Daisuke-sama's voice is sinfully amazing. ;3**

As a butler goes through his daily routine, he often cannot help but notice that he needs small distractions to prevent monotony.

Not even Sebastian Michaelis is an exception to the rule.

He loves his job, really he does; who else gets free reign of everything the Phantomhive estate has to offer, control over the servants (who provide escape from boredom all on their own), the allowance to vent violently against his master's enemies, and entrusted with the entirety of said master's well-being?

Ah, speaking of whom, happens to be the most beautiful boy this side of Hell, and has an even more beautiful soul that he, Sebastian, owns and will one day be allowed to devour. Just that last condition alone is enough to give a more stoic demon than Sebastian a bounce in his step as he prepares this and that for his Bocchan's morning tea.

Of course, having an incredibly satisfying relationship—and NOT how the dear reader is probably taking that to mean…though, there is that too—on top of the contract isn't bad either. The two are well-suited for each other; they are balanced at almost every turn. Where Ciel is hot-headed at times, Sebastian almost always calm. Where Sebastian lacks in understanding human emotion, Ciel understands it perfectly, and is willing to explain and demonstrate. When Ciel is cruel, Sebastian takes it to heart to be kind, and vice versa when their positions are reversed. They bring out the best in one another, and not _just_ in the bedroom. Though, once again, _that_ aspect of their relationship not a bad part of the deal, if you ask Sebastian.

But sometimes…sometimes, he wonders if the time was different, if the situation was different, could he and his Bocchan disappear into the mist and never return here? Not that here is bad, per say, just a little stifling. He and Ciel agree (yet another thing they share) that England is a rather stuffy and constricting place to live. Though Ciel will never admit it to anyone besides his trusted butler, he has grown rather tired of being the Queen's 'guard dog' and bowing to the will of society. His Bocchan always _has_ had issues with authority, but it's beginning to drive the poor boy up the wall every time he is captured for the sake of a case, or forced to wear a corset (it has happened more than once, by now), or has been interrupted from his and Sebastian's more…carnal pleasures.

Regardless, there is monotony about this place that occasionally will take hold. He knows that humans are creatures of habit, and his Bocchan is no different, and so he sometimes finds himself in sore need of distraction. Usually it is Ciel himself that provides it, some examples being witty banter and conversation, a good game to play, or amazingly good sex. Sometimes it's a new case, or the servants, or the cat in the garden, but Sebastian is usually set when it comes to interesting things to do.

But today…

Ciel has been working non-stop since nearly two days ago, only breaking for sleep (and thus, their morning routine) and tea, and ordering Sebastian not to bother him until he is done. The servants have the day off, for once, because of an accident that left Ciel (and Sebastian) with one hell of a headache that didn't need repeating. The cat has wandered off to who knows where, and there are no cases to be done today.

And so, Sebastian is left to the monotony of preparing tea, bored out of his mind.

Until a catchy tune springs from his mind.

He hums it, unsure of where this delightful melody came from, but his head nods in time, and his left foot begins to tap in rhythm. This is odd behavior for him, but really, no one is around to see it, so who cares? Eventually words begin to formulate.

_O-mezame no atsui koucha ireta nara__  
__pan yaite omuretsu yaite__  
__tsukaenai shiyounin ni mo__  
__yaki o iremashou kogeme kitsume_

_(After I've made some black tea to help you wake up,__  
__I shall bake some bread and make some omelet.__  
__Those servants who are useless and can't do anything right,__  
__I shall grill some burn marks onto them as well, severely)_

Yes, these are fine words to describe the start of his days. He finishes preparing the tea, and makes his way upstairs towards his Bocchan's room, where he will proceed to rouse and dress Ciel for the day. The next verse is complete by the time he knocks on the door.

_Shatsu o kise botan shime ribon musunde__  
__kutsushita sururi shiage ni gantai o__  
__kore zo Shieru Fantomuhaivu kyou watashi no shujin_

_(I shall put a shirt on you, button it, tie a ribbon,  
help you put on your socks, and finish with your eye-patch.  
This, is my master Lord Ciel Phantomhive)_

He wakes his master with a gentle kiss and a hand brushing through his kitten soft hair. His hand snags on a knot, and Ciel wakes with a furious howl that was not at all what Sebastian had in mind. He sighs happily despite this, because this means he will have the pleasure of brushing his Bocchan's hair. How delightful! It is one of the few tasks that the butler removes his pristine gloves for.

After dressing Ciel, he begins to run the brush through the boy's hair, frowning when the tangles don't seem to want to unknot themselves. Ciel is patient for once; not complaining at the slight snags that evade Sebastian's careful touch. The butler feels great need to include this in his song.

_Konna tokoro ni neguse ga hitotaba pyororira__  
__nanto ganko na no deshou__  
__neguse wa mochinushi niru no ka__  
__mattaku iu koto o kikanai_

_(How can this kind of spot have a bunch of disarranged bed hair!__  
__And what a stubborn bundle it is!__  
__Does bed hair act just like its master or something?__  
__It doesn't listen to what I say at all!)_

At last, Sebastian is forced to take action against the troublesome hair. He grabs the water sprayer that Ciel uses against the cats that try to get in, and wets the hair to try and make it stay the way it should. He combs his fingers through the soft strands, until _finally_, it stays in place and does not stick up any longer. Ciel nods his approval after looking in the mirror while Sebastian quietly hums the next verse he has thought of.

_Kore wa oshioki seneba desu ne__  
__kirifuki shushura shusshusshu__  
__mizuzeme konna ni nurete mo__  
__nao goujou na kyokusen__  
__doko zo no shinigami yori shitsukoi__  
__piitto nobashite fuffuffu__  
__sono mama sutto kushi hikeba__  
__hikaru...tenshi no wa_

_(I do think that some punishment is in order...__  
__a water sprayer, spray, spray, spray, spray!__  
__It's already so wet from my water torture,__  
__but it still retains its obstinate curves.__  
__It's more insistent than any death god,__  
__but I'll just stretch and straighten it a little bit,__  
__and then when I use a comb on it...__  
__Voila! A shiny angel's halo!)_

"Thank you, Sebastian."

"As the butler of the Phantomhive House, if I could not even straighten out some bed hair, what would I ever be able do?" he replies airily. Ciel doesn't even realize that he is helping to create sheer musical brilliance at the moment, but perhaps Sebastian will sing his new song to his Bocchan tonight as he sleeps. He pours his master tea and thinks of the things they must both do today.

_Subete wa jinsoku kaiketsu__  
__sore koso ga shitsuji no nichijou__  
__aruiwa sokkoku shunsatsu__  
__sou akuma no jitsujou_

_(I must take care of everything very swiftly;__  
__that's how I do my job every day.__  
__I also must carry out the assassinations instantly;__  
__yes, that's a demon's real state of affairs)_

"What do I have for today, Sebastian, besides the paperwork that stacked up while Elizabeth was here?" They grimace simultaneously, remembering the vivacious girl and the newest 'pink' fiasco that had taken the manor by storm.

"After breakfast you will meet Professor Hugues, who is very knowledgeable about how to be an emperor. In the afternoon, a dance lesson, a business negotiation...and roughly five tasks for the paperwork. Is that all right, Young Master?"

Later, as he walks rather aimlessly, having run out of things to do for the time being, he realizes his feet have taken him to his Bocchan's office. With the absolute silence possessed by demons, he opens the door and peers inside at Ciel looking from one document to the next, his brow furrowed and a frown marring his lovely features. Sebastian wishes he could go in to bring a smile to his master's face, but unfortunately, he has already been ordered to keep out because he 'distracts' Ciel. A smirk forms on his face at that, licking his lips at the delicious way the boy arches his neck, trying to work out the kinks from a long day sitting at the desk. He would be happy to 'distract' his Bocchan right now, but Ciel is busy, so perhaps he should be responsible and wait.

_Isogashiku notauchimawaru shujin__  
__yokome ni shiryou chekku chekku__  
__ayashii kyakujin ni wa__  
__kiwadoi omotenashi shimasu_

_(Master is so busy that he often writhes in pain,__  
__as he checks and checks the documents with sideways glances.__  
__If the guests look too suspicious,__  
__I shall make sure to give them some precarious treatment)_

Eventually, he is allowed back into his master's presence, to which he is very grateful. The day has been dreadfully boring without him, and now he gets to bathe the beautiful boy. Ah, this will be a challenge. Ciel is clearly tired tonight, and probably not in the mood for amorous touches, so he diverts his attention with another verse.

Yoru no tobari ga orita naraba  
basutabu ondo chekku chabu chabu fuu fuu

(When night's darkness has descended,  
I shall check the temperature of the bath water, splish-splash!

"Where would you like me to wash first?" he asks softly, soaping a sponge and letting it hover over the water for a moment.

Ciel leans his head back to look at his butler cheekily, indicating _exactly _where he would like to be washed first with an imperious wave of his hand. Hm, Sebastian may have been wrong about him being tired.

"...No, as much as it pains me, I'll have to say 'no' to this spot," Sebastian quips, before taking a slender arm into his hands and washes him there instead.

"Sebastian, don't be stubborn," Ciel argues a bit petulantly. "I'm not even tired." A yawn escapes his mouth.

When they are done, he carries the boy to bed, laying him down gently before showering his face with light kisses. Ciel snorts, raising an eyebrow at Sebastian's affection. "You missed me today, didn't you?"

"Perhaps."

_Shuushin no jikan oyasuminasai  
komoriuta o funfunfun  
aa nemure bocchan  
shikabane jimite yasuraka ni  
kowai yume mitara o-yobi o  
iesu iesu mai roodo de  
yagate mata otozureru asa  
mezame no koucha o ireru_

_(It's time for bed, so good night,__  
__as I hum for you a lullaby.__  
__Ah, sleep well, Young Master,__  
__sleep peacefully like a dead body.__  
__If you have a nightmare, please summon me immediately,__  
__and I shall answer with "Yes, yes, my Lord."__  
__When morning finally arrives,__  
__I shall make some more black tea to help you wake up)_

After Ciel falls into pleasant dreams, Sebastian blows the candle out and steps quietly from the room, glancing back to gaze at his sleeping Bocchan. A genuine smile lights his face, before he makes his way to prepare for tomorrow.

Yes, Sebastian loves his job. He sings the last verse to his new song happily, before disappearing into the kitchen.

_Shitsuji no nichijou_

_(A butler's daily routine)_

_Akuma no jitsujou_

_(A demon's real state of affairs)_

**Read and Review, dearies! Should I never attempt to write at two in the morning again?**


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